Review: Lube Tube

Posted on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 by namelesschaos

Lube Tube by Cal Exotics

The lube tube is basically a two pack of lube syringes, you put the lube shooter into the bottle of lube pull back the plunger which draws the lube into the barrel then push down on the plunger to apply the lube whereever you wish. After using them for a while, I completely swear by them and highly recommend them. Read ahead for all the details.

The Lube Tube

The Lube Tube by Cal Exotics

 

Materials: Cleaning and Safety Concerns

These lube tubes are made out of plastic. Which is a hypo-allergenic, and free of phthalates or latex. It is compatible with all lubes (it would really suck if they made a lube shooter that didn’t work with lube wouldn’t it?). To clean, just use some soap and water, for a more through cleaning you can use some isopropyl alcohol. Since you can’t sterilize the lube tube, don’t use the same tube between orifices or partners.

 

Design and Dimensions

Each shooter is about five and a quarter inches long with the tube itself having a diameter of about half an inch. At the end of the tube is a small removable cap.  The length you can actually get in to the bottle (the length before you would hit handle portion) is about 3.5 inches. On the top are two circular finger holes each an inch in a diameter. These finger holes provide your grip when you are about to apply the lube and they fit my fingers comfortably. Together with the tube in the center, they create the shooter widest point at around 2.5 inches,

Lube Tube Handle

The Lube Tube's Handle

The handle on the top of the barrel of the toy is heart shaped which is a cute touch. It is about 8/10 of an inch across. It was large enough that I could operate it without any difficulty, although it might have still benefited from being a wee bit wider.

The Lube Tubes Plunger Handle

The Lube Tube's Plunger Handle

There is no stopper to prevent the plunger from coming completely out when you draw it back, so be carefull not to pull it completely out when your drawing in lube. This can also be a plus as it makes cleaning out the shooter easier. just take the plunger out and run the tube under water.

 

Use.

I’ve tested this lube shooter with the following lubes: Sliquid Ride H20 (my go to all-purpose lube) Sliquid Ride silicone, (to test how it works with silicone lube) Probe (lube I do not like much but good for testing how it works with a more viscous lube) and Wet Synergy warming (a hybrid lube). It worked excellently with all lubes. In each case, it allowed me to deliver the lube exactly where I wanted to without any trouble.

However, you may be asking yourself what makes applying lube with this better then applying lubes from the bottle with your hands. The main reason is that you can very easily get the lube exactly where you want. The best way to illustrate this is my favorite use for this is anal; fingers do a good rub of getting lube applied externally but with the lube tube, you can easily get lube inside of the rectum where all the delicate tissue the lube is going to protect is. The second reason is that it helps keep lube off your hands, by applying it with the lube tube you can keep your hands dry in order to have a better grip on toys, vibrator controls, whatever.  This is especially useful with lube that tends to make a big mess such as the super stringy Probe lube.

Those are the main benefits however there are others. Firstly, you can get all geeky and get off on measuring your lube consumption with scientific precision. On that note since this is basically a syringe it will fit in nicely with medical or science related fantasies. Lastly, you can pretty much draw any liquid into these, I am sure you creative types will find some uses for that. I should note also the benefits of this being a two pack as I said above you shouldn’t share this between orifices or partners. Since it comes two per pack, you can use one tube for one orifice and one for the other, or one tube for you and one for your partner. You can also use one tube for one lube (or lube type) and the other for a different one.

So are there any cons? One con is that the tubes insertable length is sorter then many lube bottles total length. Which means you’re going to have to tilt the bottle or pour the lube in to a smaller vessel for the lube tube to reach that last bit of lube. To illustrate the bottle of Ride silicone is about 5.75” tall, so the lube tube won’t reach all the way to the bottom. Another con is that air bubbles can get trapped in the tube, which can resulting in lube shooting out violently instead of in the controlled manner that you would like as well as being painful if you blow air into an orifice. Although others have reported this as a major problem, it honestly has not bothered me. I think this happened once when I worked the plunger too fast but as long as I push and pull slowly their isn’t a problem (kind of appropriate considering the lube tube is often a prelude to anal). Others have reported that it cause them to use to much lube, I also haven’t found that to be the case. This could be because I’m using it for anal where lube, lube and more lube is a good rule to follow.

Packaging

The Lube Tube comes in a clear plastic packaging (approximately 4.5 x 8.5 inches) with a water graphic on it (I note this because here it makes some amount of sense, unlike when they put it on things like the Inspire). They also put a little warning sticker on it, which is funny as it is clearly meant for vibrators “should not be used on unexplained calf pain”. Don’t know how I’d use a lube shooter on unexplained calf pain but I’ll keep that in mind.

The Lube Tube's Packaging

The Lube Tube's Packaging

Closing Thoughts

As I said above I love these thing. The biggest compliment I can gives these things is that I intend to ,before I even need a new one, to add another to my next order to make sure I always have one

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Dear University: How NOT to Honor a Legacy.

Posted on Monday, January 16, 2012 by namelesschaos

Today is Martian Luther King Jr. Day and I would hope people take some time thinking about what he did and how to carry on his legacy. However, I think that may be asking too much, evidence my university has an “art” display “honoring” MLK however I couldn’t get through the whole thing without getting infuriated.

The display is a bunch of posters set up in a seating area where they usually display art. First off as I went from poster to poster reading them I was stuck at how superficial, political correct and cliched they were, here is one about Rosa Parkers, here one about MLKs great speech. I could imagine these hanging in any high school, middle school or even elementary school they were that basic and uninspired, at least I could if it was not for the really infuriating parts.

Half the posters I saw had their little Black History blurb and then followed by something about the university example: Rosa Parks blurb followed by some along the lines of here “at University X students of all races can use public transport together”.  Here is where I really started to raise an eyebrow. It felt like it was taking MLK as a chance for the university to promote itself and it felt all sorts of wrong, however I thought maybe I’m just being too sensitive. Then I came to the next one and it had the same structure with an added detail that removed all doubt from my mind what this was; blurb about race segregated dinners followed by …”can eat together at the University’s Chili’s” complete with a nice big picture of the University’s Chili’s on it.

O FUCK NO!!!

At that point I walked away. One thing I hate about my university is how corporatized it is becoming. I feared what effects this would have on the place but this was worse that I expected. This should be a place people go to learn, to have their views challenged and instead, what is hanging on the wall? A Chill’s advertisement wrapped in the guise of art and history. Is this what I am paying for? Is this what higher education should be? Is this what passes as remembrance now? Is this how we feel civil rights leaders should remembered? Is this what a major university believes is best way to carry on MLK’s vision by encouraging us to stuff our faces with Big Mouth Burger Bites?

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Review: Road Warrior Whacker

Posted on Friday, December 16, 2011 by namelesschaos

Road Warrior Whacker by California Exotic Novelties

This sleeve is as simple as it gets, a rolled up sheet of latex with nubs on the inside. It gets the job done but is nothing spectacular. But at a price of just $5.99 (and you can use a promo code to make it even cheaper for example use promo code DX1 to get 15% off) it is a good value and it has its uses.

The Road Warrior Whacker by California Exotic Novelties

 

Materials: Cleaning and Safety Concerns

This toy is made out of latex, which is very porous which means it does not clean well and you should not share this toy. If you must share, you could use it with condoms but this toy is so cheap that you are better off just buying two of them if you want to use it with someone else. Since this is made out of latex those with allergies or sensitivities to latex should obviously not use this toy. You can use water or silicone based lubes with this toy, do not use oil base lubes as oil degrades latex. I’d recommend storing this toy in its own plastic bag to prolong its life (also see durability, in pleasure and use below). The toy has a mild smell of latex out of the box.

Included Lube

The toy also comes with a free packet of Wet Original lubricant. The ingredient according to the packaging are:

Deionized Water (Aqua), Glycerin, Carbomer, PEG-400, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Imidazolidinyl Urea, Sodium Benzoate, Methylparaben, Tetrahydroxypropyl, Ethylenediamine, Tetrasodium EDTA, Aloe Vera Leaf Juice (Aloe Barbadensis), Tocopheryl Acetate (Vitamin E Acetate), Citric Acid.

Among other chemicals, it contains parabens and glycerin that many people are sensitive to.

Design and Dimensions

This toy is simply a sheet of latex, about a tenth of an inch thick, rolled into a tube with a series of 44 nubs along the inside. The tube flattened measures 5.25 inches long and 2.25 inches wide. If you open it up into a proper circle, it will have a diameter of about 1.5”

The internal texture of the sleeve is a series of nubs

Pleasure and Use

Starting with how the sleeve feels, the latex on the sleeve is soft, feels decent and the nubs are stimulating. The sleeve is open ended so you will not get any suction effect and will need to factor in that any fluids will come out the other side during clean up. It is decent but not spectacular. The sleeve also lacks significant stretch so it wouldn’t be a good choice if you or who you plan to use it on is above average in girth. Where this sleeve excels is if you want something disposable, temporary, or portable.

True to the name, “Road Warrior” this sleeve is extremely portable. Because you can basically flatten and fold this sleeve up it can be transported and used anywhere. Want something you can take along for a business trip or have stashed away for when you rub one out at work? This fits the bill nicely and because of its extremely low cost (under six bucks) you can basically treat this as a disposable sleeve and throw it away at the end of the trip or when you’ve had your fill of it. Another area where this would be a good choice is if you want a sleeve just to try out the concept of a masturbation sleeve. You could also uses this to see if you like nubed internal textures specifically, the nubs on this one aren’t spectacular but they are enough to give you an idea if you like nubed interiors or not. If you want to test out textures other than nubbed or like the idea of a disposable sleeve but don’t want one made out of latex, look at the Tenga Egg line.

A third place where this would be good is as a filler to get free shipping on an order. For example, Edenfantasys has free shipping on order of $59 or above and flat $5.95 shipping on orders below that. If your order total is at $54 dollars it makes more sense for you to add this and basically get a sleeve for 4 cents than pay shipment. Lastly, this works if you want a functional gag gift and the packaging is very much in the style of a gag gift as you can see in the packaging section below.

Durability

One thing I have to commenting on is the durability of the sleeve. You should think of this as a temporary sleeve, eventually it going to be worn out. My sleeve has gotten hard and stiff over time as you can see in the picture below. I should note that this was with me not storing it the way I should have been and it did last longer than the disposable Tenga Eggs for comparison.

Over time the sleeve has become hard and warped

Packaging

The toy comes in a 7” (5” not counting the hanging tab) by 4” by 1.5” cardboard box. This box is only suitable for gifting if you’re giving it as a gag gift. The front has a cartoon man masturbating with the sleeve along with the words “When You Just Gotta Wack The Willy” on it. Both sides have the same cartoon as well of the name of the toy. The back again has the same cartoon and a burb about the toy. Inside the toy will be in a plastic bag and the toy comes with a free packet of lube.

Closing Thoughts

Overall, this sleeve isn’t great by any means but it is extremely cheap, feels decent and is extremely portable. A good choice if you want something to test out the idea of a masturbation sleeve, you want something portable, or want a functional gag gift.

product picture
Masturbator by California Exotic
Material: Latex
Safety:
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Review: Sasha Grey Cream Pie Pocket Pussy

Posted on Monday, December 12, 2011 by namelesschaos

Sasha Grey cream pie pocket pussy by Doc Johnson

The Sasha Grey Creampie Pocket Pussy

The Sasha Grey Cream pie pocket pussy is a ribbed masturbation sleeve molded after retried porn star Sasha Grey. Overall, the sleeve is nothing special but it is a decent low cost sleeve for those that like Sasha Grey or want something mild.

Materials: Cleaning and Safety Concerns

This toy is made out of Ultra realistic 3.0 (UR3). The material is very porous so proper cleaning and care is necessary. Clean the toy before and after each use with warm soap and water or a toy cleaner. Use only water based lubes with this toy as other lubes may damage it. As it cannot be sanitized, do not share this toy or if you absolutely must share it use a condom with it. The toy has a very notable sweet smell to it. The toy attracts dust and the like very easily.

Design and Dimensions

This is a closed-ended masturbation sleeve about 5.25 inches long with a canal depth of about 4 inches. The internal texture of the toy is a series of mild ribs. The sleeve measures about 2.4 inches wide at the front of the toy, it narrows as you move towards the middle to a minimum diameter of about 1.8 inches, before widening back out to a diameter of roughly 2.3 inches at the end of the sleeve. The outside of the sleeve has a series of ribs this combined with the narrowing and widening design provides a good grip.

The Sasha Grey Creampie Pocket Pussy (side view)

In terms of looks the sleeve has a Caucasian flesh tone with the labia painted pink, at least they were. The pink coloring despite infrequent use has already washed off completely as you can see by the picture below. Although they were never as pink as the product pictures on the box made them out to be. There words Doc Johnson are imprinted on the top side of the toy. The toy is made in the USA if like buying American.

The labia originally had a pink coloring, as you can see it has washed off completely.

This toy is a part of Doc Johnson’s Sasha Grey line of toys that include this toy, a series of glass butt plugs, two glass wand (Swell and Billy) and a Vibrating Ass and Pussy.

Pleasure and Use

I’m going to start with the “Sasha Grey” and “creampie” (internal ejaculation for those of you not up on your porn lingo) fantasy aspects of the toy. In terms of the mold, after reviewing several nude photos of Miss Grey (I know it was such hard work looking at all those naked pictures but its ok I do it all for you ;) ) I have concluded it is a good replica of the real thing. The only thing is that Sasha is known for not being completely shaven and this like most sleeves has no public hair. If you want a masturbator that simulates her bush, you should look at the Sasha Grey deep penetration vibrating pussy & ass. It is interesting that this is a creampie pocket pussy when to the best of my knowledge Sasha Grey never did a creampie scene. You can take this two ways, as a poor fit for a Sasha Grey fantasy as it doesn’t fit with her performances or an even more intimate fantasy since you can pretend you’re doing something even she wouldn’t do on camera.

If you’re interested in more of Sasha Grey her porn work includes Pirates 2, Malice in LaLaLand, Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex, Throat: A Cautionary Tale, and many others.   Her non-porn work includes staring in the mainstream film The Girlfriend Experience, guest staring on HBOs Entourage, a photo book called Neu Sex and freaking out the PTA.

Now, moving back to sleeve itself, as I said above the internal texture is a series of mild rib. These ribs are milder than what I typical use but they are nice for when I do want something milder and they would be great if you generally prefer milder internal textures. The material is also soft contributing to the mild feel. This masturbator is closed-ended which means you will get a mild suction effect during use, it also necessary for the masturbator to have the advertised creampie effect. As this sleeve only has a total length of 5.25 inches, it is not the best if you want deep penetration unless you are shorter than average. The back does stretch a little bit, but obviously overstretch it and it will break. If you want something you can truly go balls deep on, I would recommend a Fleshlight, instead. As I mentioned above the sleeve is very easy to grip thanks to its design this is a plus as it things can be hard to grip when your hands or full of lube or otherwise slippery like if your using it in the shower.

Packaging

This toy comes in a cardboard box approximately 6.25” tall (7.25” counting the hanging tab) x 3.25 inches wide by 2.5 half inch deep. The front has a picture of Sasha Grey in her lingerie. One side has a picture the toy and some bullet points about it; the other has another picture of Sasha in her lingerie. This second picture is much racer then the first; she is pulling her panties down to one side and you can very clearly see her bush. The back some more points about the toy with a final picture of Sasha in the background.

Sasha Grey Cream pie pocket pussy packaging

Closing Thoughts

Over all this is simple low-end sleeve (If you want something high end I’d suggest a Fleshlight, a Tenga 3D, or a Tenga Fliphole. ) There is nothing fancy about it but if you’re in the market for a low cost sleeve and like mild texturing this will fit the bill.

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Review: His Miracle Massager Stroker Kit

Posted on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 by namelesschaos

His Miracle Massager Stroker Kit by Cal Exotics

The His Miracle Massager Set

 

The His Miracle Massager Stoker Kit is a 2-speed wand style massager kit that, in addition to a standard nub attachment, comes with a unique ribbed penis sleeve attachment that makes it unlike other toys on the market. Despite some flaws (smelly attachment, unsafe materials), this toy is a winner and a much needed entry in the category of vibrating toys deigned for penis use.

Materials: Cleaning and Safety Concerns

The body of the toy is made out hard grey plastic; the head of the massager is coated in PVC, the nub attachment is made of hard plastic and the penis sleeve is made out of TPE. To clean carefully wipe with a damp cloth (remember the toy is not water-resistant). The TPE attachment (and to a lesser extent the PVC head) had a very pronounced smell. These materials are compatible with both water and silicone based lubes. These materials are porous so use condoms if sharing.

Design, Dimensions, and Operation.

The vibrator measures about 8 inches in total length. The toy’s head sit on top of a flexible neck and measures about 1 2/3 inches in diameter not counting the protrusion at one end, which is where you attach the attachments. The detachable power cord on this is 6 feet long and has a rather bulky box at the end (approximately 3” x1.5” x 1.75”) that can be rather annoying as it will block adjacent outlets.

 

The inside of the penis attachment

The tube attachment is roughly five and a half inches in total length with about 5 inches being insertable. The opening of the tube has a diameter of about two inches (not counting the ribs on the inside).  Along the inside are seven ridges. One side has four ridges spaced out about an inch from each other starting from the entrance of the tube; these ribs stick out about a quarter inch from the wall of the tube. The other side has three ribs spaced out an inch from each other starting a half of an inch in from the entrance, these stick out a little less about 1/8 of an inch. The result is an alternating pattern of larger followed by smaller rib with each rib spaced out a half of an inch from the next one on the opposite side. This tube is pretty rigid and although it can compresses well it has very little stretch.

His Miracle Massager with the penis attachment.

 

The nub attachment is about an inch and a half long and can be used to concentrate stimulation.

The His Miracle Massager with the Nub attachment.

 

Lastly, the toy has two speeds low and high, a single slider on the front side of the toy controls the settings. The toy is rather loud; you would be able to hear it through a closed door. In terms of power, this toy is very powerful but not as quite powerful as my Whal, Hitachi or Inspire.

Pleasure and Use

Getting right to the main feature of the toy, although it looks weird the penis selves works amazingly well and makes this one of the best masturbators I have tried. To use it place your penis inside and then turn the toy on to the desired setting (or turn the toy on and then insert while it is vibrating, either way is good). If you leave your penis stationary, the vibrations throughout the sleeve and through the internal ribs will provide a pleasant massage. I like this for warm-up or foreplay especially on low.  For more simulation, you can move the sleeve up and down on your penis the combination of the firm ribs and vibration is intense and very stimulating especially on high. In addition, if you push the air out of the toy as your entering it you will create a suction effect that will add yet another layer to the experience.

There are some cons to this sleeve however. Firstly, as I stated above the material isn’t very safe and has a strong odor. Secondly, as I mention above the material does not have much stretch to it, so if you have a penis that above average in girth the sleeve may be too tight for you. Thirdly, the ribs may be too firm for some users. Fourth, the vibrations do transmit significantly into the handle which may numb your hand. Lastly, the toy has all the flaws that are inherent to a corded massager, i.e. not waterproof, tied to a cord and power.

Although the toy is called the His Miracle Massager Kit, this is actually an extremely versatile kit. The top of the massager can be used anyway you would typical use a massager this can be for sexual purposes (e.g. clitoris, nipples, other erogenous zones) or non-sexual purpose (e.g. sore muscles) or both (e.g. use it on sore muscles which puts you in the mode to use it on your clit). The nub attachment allows you to apply the vibration in a more focused fashion, which again can be used for a wide variety of purposes. Its relatively small size also makes it easy to use during intercourse as long as you aren’t tangled in the cord. Although I should note that if you have no need for the penis attachment they do make other “my miracle” massager kits with a more traditional set of attachments.

Packaging

The toy comes in a clear plastic packaging (approximately 11.75 x 2.25 x 5.75 inches) with white red and black lettering for the various bullet points about the toy; it is tasteful but not discreet. It also comes with some basic instructions.

The His Miracle Massager packaging (front)

The His Miracle Massager packaging (back)

Closing Thoughts

Although there are some flaws such as the smelly attachments that I hope someone fixes someday as it stands this is a fantastic toy and deserves a full five stars.

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Review: Nexus Vibro

Posted on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 by namelesschaos

The Nexus Vibro, is a vibrating prostate massager designed to stimulate both the prostate internally via the insertable portion and the perineum region externally, via the external portion. What makes the nexus line of prostate massagers special is that instead of a hard plastic perineum stimulator like on the Aneros toys, they have a stainless steel rollerball at the end of the external portion. What makes the Vibro unique within the line is that the base is hollow allowing for the insertion of the included stainless steel vibrator. It all very nice, high-end, and innovative but a single fatal flaw ruins it for me….it won’t stay in.

Nexus Vibro Luxury Kit

Materials: Cleaning and Safety Concerns

The main body of the toy is made out of hard plastic. Plastic can be cleaned with good old soap and water. For a more thorough cleaning, you can clean it with some isopropyl alcohol. You cannot sterilize or sanitize plastic so do not share the toy, or put I condom over it if you do. The removable roller ball and the vibrator are made out of stainless steel. You can clean stainless steel with soap and water, isopropyl alcohol, or a 10% bleach solution. You can also put the roller ball in your dishwasher (top rack no soap), pressure cooker or boil it; don’t do any of these three to the vibrator or body of the toy however as it will ruin them.

Both plastic and steel are compatible with all lubes so use which ever lube you like best. (Personally, I like a good silicone based lubes. I like a less viscous lube to use around the roller ball as really viscous lubes will gunk it up easier).

Design, Dimensions, and Operations

As I said above this toy is a prostate massager, you can divide the toy in to three parts: the main internal arm of the toy that goes inside your body, the rollerball arm that provides external stimulation and a handle that curves outward that you can use to manual active the toy or to help with removal or insertion.

The toy measures a total of 5 inches, measuring from the head to the tip of the handle portion of the base, about 3 inches of which are insertable. The toy starts with an almond like head about an inch in diameter. The shaft of the toy has 13 ribs running down its length and is about an inch and 1.10” at it widest point and the neck of the toy is about ¾ of an inch at its narrowest. The base measures about 4 1/3” from end to end, the roller portion stick out about 2” from the base while the manual arm sticks out about 1.5 inches.

The toy has a removable roller (about 2/3 of inch in diameter) at the end. The toy comes with an included rollerball remover that you poke through a hole underneath the ball to pop it out, when your cleaning the toy. If you lose the removal tool don’t worry anything you can fit in the hole, like the tip of a pen, can pop the ball out. All the rollerball massager in the /nexus line use the same removal tool (and rollerball).

The Nexus Vibro comes with a rollarball removal tool for easy cleaning.

The vibrations come from a removable stainless steel bullet vibrator. The bullet measures 3 inch in length (counting the button), and is about 6/10 of an inch in diameter. It is operated by a single push button on the top, pushing it will turn the toy on a cycle through its five different vibrations patterns:

1)     Low

2)     High

3)     Rapid pulsation

4)     Very Rapid Pulsation

5)     Escalation

According to the box, this has “microchip technology”, although I could not feel any difference in performance. It run on a single N sized battery (included).

The Nexus Vibro's stainless steal vibrator

This toy is part of Nexus line of roller ball massager, which in addition to this have: the Neo, the Excel, the Glide, and the Titus (basically the non-vibrating version of the Vibro)

 

Pleasure and Use.

I’m going to cut straight to the point here: this toy is well made but fails for the simple reason that it won’t stay in and since a prostate massager is supposed to be a hands-free product (activated by you contracting you PC muscles or by rocking your hips) this is ultimately a fatal flaw. Looking closely at the toy I think part of the problem is that although the difference between max and neck diameter is decent it not symmetrically distributed, one side bulges more than the other does so it slips out easily. The ribbing if it was supposed to help with retention it did not. However, other people have rear ends that are much grabbier then mine and if you think this will work will your body there are so pros to this toy (tested holding it in manually).

Frist off, the Nexus rollerball design is brilliant. The rollerball is much more comfortably and more stimulating the often poke-y plastic ends on the Aneros line of massagers. In addition, perineum arm on this one is perfectly angles to hit the perineum area the way I like it. The head on the internal portion is well angled and provides good stimulation, so it passes that test as well. Moving on to the vibrations in the Vibro, the included bullet is strong enough that I can feel the vibrations during use, while quit enough not to be able to hear it through a closed door. The steady setting can provide some additional stimulation while the patterns can be fun to try a develop a rhythm to.

On the topic of the bullet while I couldn’t tell any sort of difference in regards to that “microchip technology” this is supposed to have it is a good bullet. If you have some use for the bullet separately, it adds some value to your purchase. You can use the bullet by itself any way you would use a regular bullet (nipples, clits, etc) and since it is stainless steel it can also be used for temperature play.

If you want a good vibrating prostate massager that stays in I wish I could give you a recommendations but I haven’t found one that works for me. Rocks Off makes several although the one I tried (Rude Boy) failed to stay in. Aneros has one called the Vice, but I haven’t tried it yet. You may also want to look in to flexible toys like the Gi-Ki or the SinFive Flow (neither of which I’ve tried yet).

Comparison to other Nexus Massagers.

I have 4 of the massager in the Nexus line and my favorite is the nexus Neo followed very closely by the Excel, The Glide coming in a distant third and this one sadly being the worse for me.

As I mentioned above this seems to be a vibrating version of the Nexus Nexus Titus, so if you if you are not interested in vibrations you should look at that one. If you’re the perineum arm of the Vibro interests you but not the overall design, the perineum stimulator on this is identical to the one on the Neo. Here a picture with the two to illustrate:

The base of the Vibro is identical in shape to the one on the Nexus Neo.

If you don’t think the perineum arm on the Vibro/Titus will work for you but like the design of the internal portion, the angle of the internal portion is most similar to the one on the glide, which has a different perineum arm.

The angle where the Vibro hits the prostate is similar to the one on the Glide.

Packaging

The packaging for the Nexus Vibro is very classy and tasteful. It comes in a black cardboard box (approximately 6” x 5” x 1.5”). The front has a picture of the toy and the back a description of the toy and a picture of the bullet.

The Nexus Vibro packaging

Inside the box, the bullet, massager and the removal tool will be a foam holder. It is very easy to use this for storage.

Closing Thoughts

A prostate massager that can’t stay is an automatic 2 stars max for me, so that what I’m giving it. While recognizing that if your ass is good at retaining things it may be a four or five star product for you.

product picture
Prostate massager by LB Trading Ltd
Material: Plastic
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:
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Review: Picobong Tano

Posted on Friday, November 25, 2011 by namelesschaos

The Picobong Tano by Lelo (Picobong is a part of Lelo in case you didn’t know)

It's like a little surfing bullet vibe.

The Lelo Picobong Tano

The Picobong Tano is a vibrating butt plug. I was excited about this one because from the pictures I could see that it solved the main problem with vibrating butt plugs. Most vibrating plugs use a bullet vibe in the base to provide the vibrations. The problem is that this means their needs to be enough hollow space in the neck of the toy to fit the aforementioned vibrator, the result is a neck too thick to allow for a proper tapper needed for good retention. The Tano solves this problem by putting the vibrator in the head of the toy allowing the neck to taper unobstructed by the internal vibrator, however in doing so it creates a completely new set of problems.

Materials:  Clean and safety concerns.

This toy is made out of silicone and plastic. Both materials are free of phthalates and latex, hypoallergenic, and can be cleaned with soap and water. The silicone used by Lelo is probably the firmest silicone I’ve seen; it feels more like plastic then silicone. It not just that it is silicone coating plastic either my pure silicone toys from Leo (i.e the Lelo Bob) have also been extremely firm. Note: The toy has the word Picobong engraved on it which makes for a bunch of little hard to clean areas, you need to make extra sure are clean.

Only use water based lubes with this toy as silicone based lubes might damage the silicone on the toy.

Design and Dimensions

The toy is about 4.25 inches long, with about 3.75 inches being insertable. The head of the toy (about the first 2.5 inch), is made of silicone the rest of the toys neck and base is made out plastic. There is a seam created where the silicone and plastic meat.

The seam on the picobong Tano

The base of the toy measures about 3.5 inches across at is widest.  One end of the toy is wider then then the other with the wider end (little under 1.25 inches at it widest) having an oval shaped hole (about 2/3” of an inch along the short axis and 9/10 on the long axis). This base is also asymmetrical with the side with the ring hole sticking out much more than the other side from the center of the toy. The overall look is very cute like a surfer of some sort.

It like a surfboard for bullet vibes

The Picobong Tano's Base

The toy is powered by a single aaa battery (not included) Yaa!, for normal batteries and not some weird size like so many other bullets. To insert the battery you twist off the top portion were the silicone and plastic meet, you insert the body and then simply screw the cap back on. The toy will give off a little buzz to let you know you have inserted the battery properly, which is a nice touch.

The Tano comes apart in the middle to insert the battery.

The toy has the words Picobong engraved on one, on the outside of the toy. It is here that you will find the toy’s controls. The hole in the letter “P” actually a minus sign and the hole in the letter “b” has a plus sign in it, this is how you control the toy. This is cute but a little counter intuitive I had to read the manual before I realized they were the controls. Lastly, as mentioned above it also makes the toy harder to clean.

The controls for the Picobong, are hidden in the "Picobong" lettering on the outside of the the toy. The minus button is in the "P" and the minus button is in the "b"

To operate the toy hold down the plus sign and it will turn on the toy; keep holding it down to increase the intensity. Once it on it highest setting hit the plus again again to cycle between the plugs other 11 settings different settings (the steady vibrations add up to the advertised twelve settings). The eleven setting are as follows:

  1. Slow pulsation
  2. Medium speed pulsation
  3. Fast pulsation
  4. Very fast pulsation
  5. Slow escalation
  6. Medium speed escalation
  7. Roller-coaster
  8. Faster roller-coaster
  9. Escalation followed by two pluses
  10. Fast escalation followed by four pulses
  11. Erratic pulses

To turn the toy off push the button to return it to steady vibration mode, then hold it down till the toy turns off. The vibrations are pretty quite about 2/5 on the noise scale.

The toy is available in three colors, black, pink, and purple. The Tano is part Lelo’s Picobong line, which in addition to their toy includes the: Kiki, Koa, Ipo, Honi, and Mahana.

The Mystery of the Dice

One final thing I should note is that it comes with a die. It is black with little pictures of each of the Picobong toys done in pink. What is it for? Some short of kinky sex game? Some short of marketing games? A relic from some sex-shop/casino hybrid? Hell if I know! And apparently Lelo doesn’t know either. The answer on the official site is:  “We hoped you could tell us.” Between this and the Insignia line’s random brooch I’m left wondering: “If you’re going to keep throwing random shit in Lelo, what’s next? Diadems? Zocchihedrons?”

It comes with a free die....no one knows why.

Pleasure and Use

This toy was so full of potential it is sad to say it feel very short, but let go over the good things first. Frist of all the basics, the plug does stay in very well, it stayed in during movement, orgasm, intercourse, everything. This is a major plus as the downfall of most vibrating plugs as I mentioned above is that they fall out. The base is comfortable during use and sitting which is nice. You might want try it with both the large end with the loop pointing towards and away from your genitals to see which works best for you. I couldn’t feel a difference in overall comfort with the base however if the loop end is pointing to your genitals it can block access to the perineum region and maybe even the vagina if you or your partner have one that is very close to the anus. Speaking of the loop I find it didn’t really help much with removal however it was good for using it to manually wiggle around the toy for stimulation. I also like that the toy has a variety of setting I could use depending on how much simulation I want. The vibrations are on the weak side but I find them acceptable for what I want out of a vibrating plug. Lastly, that toy uses a normal battery size is also a plus.

So sounds good so far will unfortunately, there are two big flawed which absolutely ruin this toy. The first, is remember the “Design and Dimensions and Operation” section above? Remember how I said the controls are on the outside of the insertable portion. Think about that. See the problem? If you want to switch settings, you have to take the toy out, change settings, relube, put it back in. Want to change it again? Repeat the whole process. Unless you are satisfied with picking just one setting and sticking with it, this will be annoying. Although that being said, I can think of one scenario that could kind of erotize this flaw. Put it in in a public bathroom and then go back out and continue your day for a while, part of the thrill coming from the fact you can’ turn it off till you get back to a place you can take it out (or the battery dies). I haven’t gotten the courage to actual attempt this but it’s an idea, if I ever get the guts I’ll included it in the follow up review. However, that not what really hurts this toy, what really causes it to fail is….

THE SEAM OF DOOM!!!

Now normally I don’t feel seams or don’t feel them enough for them to really bother me; so that I feel this seam deserves a not just its own heading but one that that is bolded, underlined and has both excessive capitalization and excessive exclamation should tell you something. This toy has by far the worse seam I’ve ever experienced and it not the normal seam that you find on most toys either. The seam I’m talking about is the seam that is runs horizontal across the toy where the plastic and silicone meet. Observe:

I hate you.

This seam is very, very noticeable both on insertion and removable but that just the beginning. The toys two main problems have a lovely, evil synergy with each other. Remember how you have to remove the toy just to change settings each time? Remember how I just said that you would feel it going in and out each time? Yah. Now remember how I said that it had twelve different setting? Imagine how I felt after I had to test each one of them, removing a reinserting he toy each time? (insert Sideshow Bob rake noise) Because it bears repeating…

...I hate you.

However, it gets even worse, now almost any plug no matter how well it stays in is going to wiggle a little if you move a lot. Now for most plugs this is not a problem, on this one I could actually feel that accursed seam if the plug slid down. Never before have a felt a seam while the toy is inside me. O bloody hell…

...I really hate you!

However, there is one tiny slimier of hope. As I was testing vibration partner #5 or so I was despite for a way to make the process easier and tried putting a condom on the toy, this does help smooth out the seam a bit making the it much more comfortable to insert and remove. This trick pretty much saved the toy from the trash bin, but it still annoying to have to use a condom, (or something similar) each time and it negates part of the reason for getting a (partially) silicone toy in the first place.

... I hate you slightly less now.

Packaging

The Tano comes in cardboard and plastic box (approximately: 6 ½ x 3 5/8 x 1 ½) the packaging is simple and classy, the front has a view of the toy with some icons listing the toys function the back has  a blurb about the toy in four different languages. Inside will be the Tano and a Picobong dice attached to a plastic holder. I had a small problem with the dice there was too much glue holder it to the card board holder, so much it took some of the cardboard with it took some soap and water to get the cardboard and glue off.  The packaging is a bit excessive as I said above the dice seems throw in for no apparent reason.

The Tano's packaging

Closing Thoughts

I’m giving this a two starts mainly because of the seam. I will admit the toy will probably see more play time then it truly deserve but that only due to the lack of good vibrating plug options and even then I have to wrap it in something to smooth out the seam. I hope that someone can fix these problems and because the idea had promise.

product picture
Butt plug by PicoBong
Material: Silicone / Plastic
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:
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Review: Rude Boy

Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2011 by namelesschaos

My latest review is an on site for Edenfantasys, a review of the Rude boy massager.

Short version: It well made but falls out a fatal flaws in my view. How rude of you Rude Boy.

Here are some pic to tease you before clicking over to Eden/supplement what you read if you got here by clicking over from Eden.

Rude Boy Prostate massager by Rocks-Off Ltd.

Rude Boy by Rocks-Off Ltd.

The Rude boy comes with a Rocks off bullet.

The Rude Boy comes with a Rocks off bullet.

The perineum arm of the Rocks-Off Rude Boy

The perineum arm has a series of seven nubs on it.

The Rude Boy's insert-able portion

Demonstrating the flexibility of the Rude Boy's insert-able portion

The Rude Boy's Packaging

The Rude Boy's Packaging Note: How the bullet comes inside the toy. Ya that's going to a royal #@!$ to remove.

 

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Unpacking the Knapsack: Male, Heterosexual, Cis-gender Sex Toy Reviewer Edition

Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2011 by namelesschaos

Note: I’m re-posting this as it seem the first never got splashed on to my RSS feed for some reason…….and apparently nether did this one. ugh!

So last night I was looking over an essay I wrote for my woman studies class (there will be many post coming from this, including why I’m taking so many women studies classes) about my responses to the classic essay White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack. I decided to follow the format of that essay and list some of the different privileges I experience i.e.: male heterosexual (Although I don’t consider myself a 0 on the Kinsley scale I’m close enough to definitely benefit from heterosexual privilege), cis-gender. This is not meant to be an scholarly even intensely through analysis (it basically all that popped into my head last night before I succumb to the siren song of sleep) , never-the-less I thought it would be a good introspective exercise to share.

 

1) I can find on sex toy packaging images that appeal to my sexual orientation and gender, even if that product is marketed to women…

2) The same holds true for porn…

3) …and even events designed to bring attention to women watching porn.

4) I can look at sex toy packaging, porn, etc and not have my gender be insulted.

5) If a purchase a couple’s toy I can be assured that opposite gender pairing will be covered in the pictures, manual, etc.

6) I can be assured a general sex ed manual will included illustration/descriptions of heterosexual and cis-gender activity

7) The virginity of my gender is not fetishized and obsessed over (see the Kink.com’s hymn-gate fiasco.)

8) I can be assured members of my gender will be seen reaching climax in most any porn.

9) I can be sure that pornography meeting my sexual preferences will be stocked in any porn retailer

10) I can be sure that porn will be marked towards me and my gender. (Consider Digital Playgrounds slogan “Hotter Girls, Higher Quality” Why is “Hotter Guys” not a factor? )

11) I can be sure that porn and sex toys marked toward me will be in the main section of the story and not in a separate section, a niche department, or in a separate store entirely.

12) Even when women are portrayed as dominate I can be assured I can still find plenty of images that are shot from the point of view of the male gaze.

13) I can be sure the sex-positive movement will include my point of view. See: when sex-positive=male gaze)

14) If someone finds my collection of porn it is much less likely I will be judged for it then someone of another gender

15) Masturbation is seen as natural and normal for my gender

16) Having sexual thoughts and fantasies are seen as normal for my gender.

17) If I have an opinion on female sexuality, I’m likely to be taken seriously.

18) If I have opinion on women and sex work I’m likely to be taken seriously despite not being a sex worker or a women (see: that incident involving that blogger whose name shall not be spoken)

19) My opinion on transgender issues will be taken seriously, and not a sign or me being overly sensitive.

20) Me reaching orgasm during sex is expected

21) In most media more time will be spent on sex acts that my gender general prefers example more time spent on fellatio then cunnilingus

22) Toys will categorized according to a gender binary I (or my partners) fall under, i.e “Toys for men” or “Toys for women”.

23) If I were to enter work in porn I would not have to fear being assaulted by my co-worker or not having my boundaries violated (for a truly chilling example of this see Khan Tusion and meatholes)

24) Porn never portrays sex as something that is supposed to hurt my gender (To be clear I’m not talking about consensual BDSM porn here I mean stuff like #23)

25) As my tastes are considered, mainstream it easy for me to find porn that is of high technical quality. (Think how much queer porn is available on Blu-Ray compared to mainstream porn)

26) Bisexuality will be shown as existing for my pleasure. Example: FFM threesomes featuring female bisexuality are ubiquitous male-male-female threesome featuring male bisexuality are a rarity. (Although it is awesome when you find it)

27) I don’t have to worry about being harassed on twitter if I make a sexual comment

28) I don’t have to worry about being harassed on twitter if I make a non sexual comment

29) I have yet to receive any unsolicited genital picks.

30) I don’t have to be as worried about being harassed if I don’t adequately protect my personal information online. (or even if a do protect my info) Edited: to add this link, by Charlie Glickman which sums up what women face nicely)

31) I don’t have to deal with hate posts just because of my gender, or sexuality.

32) I can be relatively sure sexual health information will address my concerns.

33) Pictures of my genitals in their natural state are unlikely to be majority altered to avoid explicit genital details

34) Porn feature my sexuality/gender etc. is not more likely to be considered obscene or too hardcore.

35) Lubricants and toys do not general contain ingredients know to be unhealthy for my gentiles or compounds suspected to cause gender related cancers in my gender.

36) The proper anatomical terms for my body part will not be on a google banned words list.

37) …or a republican politician’s banned words list

38) My ability to reliably reach orgasm is taken for granted.

39) I can blog without being the target of triggering rape jokes

40) If I do find a joke/item whatever offensive, it is more likely to be taken seriously and less like to have, me labeled as overly sensitive or just out to cause a ruckus.

41) Masturbation for my gender is not seen as practice for intercourse.

42) Forms online will always have options for my gender and sexual orientation

43) I will never be asked to speak for my entire sexual orientation

44) The chose I make in clothing, manner of speech or anything else will not be attributed to my sexuality

45) The non-sexual functions of my body will not be constantly sexualized (think women and breast feeding)

 

And I could go on and could expand the list to included other examples of hetero sexual, male and cis privilege however as I said my point is not to be all inclusive I specifically kept most of the list narrowed to the thing at least somewhat related to sex blogging. I did this for a specific reason I wanted to focus on the things I could most easily address. By keeping focused on how privilege manifests itself in relativity narrow sphere, I can better identify blind spots in my own thinking. One example is the issue of #22, there are ways to be more inclusive for example “toys for cocks” the category listing where ‘toys for men” would fall under in Pleasurists is more inclusive then toys for men because cock can mean bio-cock or a dildo and can be owned by a cis or trans individual. The tag I use for such toys is simply masturbator a simple objective description.

Anyway readers, (yes both of you… actually their might be three now, short post on that coming tomorrow…short version if your reading this, hi professor ;) ). Anymore you can add to the list, what your list would look like?

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Posted in Feminism, Introspection | Tagged | 1 Comment

Review: Glow Lips

Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2011 by namelesschaos

Where you that kid that like glow in the dark stickers. Want a sex toy that fit that big Halloween sex toy party you have planed. Then the toy i just reviewed on Eden may be what your looking for.

The glow lips.

Glow Lips by Cal Exotic Novelties

The Glow lip masturbater by Cal Exotic

Overall it was a soft low-end masturbation sleeve worth a look if you like glow in the dark things.

Note: Yes I did already post this review (note how the perma link says “glow-lips-2″), I made a bit of a oppps! and posted it here when it was supposed to be an on site review. If you already read it it the exact same review with a few minor alterations to better fit Eden’s template.

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