Before we begin, take a gander at one of my online profiles and see if you can notice a bit of subtle wording.
From my Male Anal Play Tumblr:
Most hetero guys are afraid to death of having anything go up their ass. I’m not. Yes, I am a hetero male
Notice something? You will in a moment. As you might have guessed this post is about sexual orientation and identification. As you can see above I consider myself hetero and I don’t see myself referring to my sexuality by any other prefix however the noun at the end of that prefix that…that might change. As I’ve said in another post I’ve been curious about how it must feel to receive a facial. One night I was thinking that over, my mind started to create scenarios, and eventually I started to have my first bisexual fantasy. I imagined a harsh mistress ordering me to suck another man’s hard cock eventually ending in a facial. This fantasy was extremely intense. So intense I decided to look up sexual orientation terminology as well as download some bi and gay porn. I did them in that order but I think the post flows better, if I talk about the porn first.
First, I downloaded the bi porn, watched, and was quite turned on by it to be honest, especially the idea of being the lucky person in the middle of a sandwich. To be giving and receiving simulation from two real live bodies. Yes! Definitely a turn on! Next, the gay porn: it really didn’t do anything for me. Hmmm…Sexual activates involving male on male can be a turn on for me as long as there is also sexual contact with a female going on at the same time. This was an interesting phenomenon indeed; don’t know what it means but interesting none the less.
So what did my search for sexual orientation terminology tell me about these new found thoughts. First, I think most have heard of the term bi-curious. Most would probably say that is what applies to the above however the term didn’t seem to fit quite right. I wasn’t curious at the time in sleeping with guys 1 on 1, a female was in the picture in each case; while the act was bi-sexual the inclination towards that act still felt hetero to me. Depending on the nature of the fantasies, it at times actually felt transcendently heterosexual in a sense. Often these fantasies would revolve around making the mistress in the scenario happy by doing these things. It would revolve around me being so eager to please a woman that it did not matter to me if the methods of pleasing her took on a normative hetero form; the urge to satisfy one of the opposite gender transcending the physical confines of heterosexuality. Thinking on it some more I recalled the term heteroflexible that I’ve seen used by some people; when I first heard it I really didn’t know what to make of it but it caught my interest. Now, the term makes a bit more sense to me and I like it more the bi-curious.
Digging deeper I thought of the Kinsey scale, the scale certainly seemed to be a better tool for describing sexuality then the tri-point (bi, hetero, homo) system since it gives me something between 0 (exclusively heterosexual) and 3 (equal bisexual and heterosexual). The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid seemed even better for one reason “Emotional preference”. This to me is very important, as I have zero interest in males in a romantic sense. To be honest most of the time the other dude in my fantasies is filling the role of very advanced sex toy (that would make for an interesting review “Review: Human Male (Actual)”). I think this is the problem I had with some of the terms used because to me they implied some degree of romantic interest, or at least did not differentiate between a romantic interest and a purely sexual one. This is why I like the term heteroflexible more than bi-curious easier to separate the emotional from the physical with the term heteroflexible in my mind. (Of course, these are the recognized terminology if you go to Wikipedia you can also indulge yourself in entirely made up nonsensical terminology such as “vortex bisexual”. But hey thank you Wikipedia for giving me a catchier title :-). )
Interestingly, I have previously posted about how silly I find most guys’ reluctance to engage in group sex that may involve another male even if all actives are between them and a female. Perhaps these newfound slightly right of zero tendencies might partially explain why I don’t get the “If there is another penis in the room I’m running out of there,” mentality amongst my gender. Although I’m not too far to the right “if there is not at least one vagina in the room I’m out” might describe my slightly more flexible take on heterosexuality…maybe.
By this point, I think hope you understand what I mean by saying that although I’m hetero, I may be open to changing the noun at the end of that prefix. However, whatever you want to call it; the term used isn’t really what matters to me. What matters is where I go from here. Obviously, my fantasy life and possible porn choices just become more varied, always a good thing. So the question becomes, “Would I be willing to make this more than a fantasy?” I’ll answer that in two parts:
First, let us tackle the idea of have sex with another male on its own. Since I started having these fantasies, I have thought (although I didn’t at first) about what it would be like to have sex with another male just for the experience of it. I have said I want to explore a variety of things and I can’t deny that there is a curiosity present about questions such as how an actual cock would feel in my ass (if nothing else that would make an interesting reference point for my toy reviews lol) and the already mentioned facials. I could end up liking it, I could end up hating it (not every stop on the journey is going to be paradise) but it definitely seems like an experience I could learn from if I entered it with the right mindset. However, this curiosity is easily dissuaded and not necessarily for the usual reasons you would expect. In addition to some of the obvious reasons, one reason I’d be reluctant is that I am a frequent blood donor and sexual contact with another male means an indefinite deferral (in other words permanent deferral). Now if this was something I had a stronger desire to do or knew I would enjoy it wouldn’t stop me, but I don’t want to experiment, hate it and then find myself kicking myself every time I walk past a bloodmobile. Therefore, for now sex with another male in it of itself is unlikely to be more than a fantasy however…
As I said, the fantasies have usually involved a female as well in some form so they are group sex fantasies as well. Would I take the chances to experiment with another male in a group sex setting? HELL YES! If the already linked to post on multiple penetrations and the group sex tumblr didn’t give it away; group sex is very high on my fantasies list. I wouldn’t choose it if I could pick from the various forms of group sex, but if my first opportunity to have a group sex experience comes in a bisexual form I’m taking it(1). The blood bank is just going to have to deal with one less blood donor. Still unlikely but only because the opportunity seems unlikely to present itself.(2).
So that is it for my latest (hopefully coherent) ramblings. I never thought my fantasies would ever move in this direction… I wonder how deep this rabbit hole goes?