The Scientific Truth About How Often Happy Couples Have Sex

No matter how blissfully happy a couple is, if one person wants a ton of sex and the other is fine only getting some every so often, problems may arise. But it can be pretty hard to know if you’re having sex “enough.” Even if you have open conversations about the subject with your friends, chances are you’re still working with a pretty small sample size. Luckily, science has done some investigating in this realm.

Here’s what the research says.

An oft-cited study published in November 2015 in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science pinpointed once a week as the magic number. After studying over 30,000 people, the researchers found that couples had sex around once a week on average, and what’s more, having sex that often was linked to an increase in happiness compared to having it less often. But interestingly enough, the study found no increase in happiness when people had sex more than once a week.

A March 2014 study in Social Indicators Research begs to differ. The study, which analyzed over 15,000 people, found that people who had sex two to three times a week were happier than those who had it once a week, and so on down the line.

These are great nuggets of information, but experts say you don’t need to change anything in your sex life based on these numbers.

First of all, this is correlation, not causation—the study authors can’t say whether having more sex made people happier or whether people had more sex because they were happier to begin with. But also, they’re studies, not universal commandments everyone must follow for a strong relationship.

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My Thoughts on Gangbanging

Unless you grew up under a rock, everyone understands what a gangbang is, basically a dog pile of naked people having a blast. This is my brief thoughts on what I consider a gangbang to be, and why it’s different than an orgy.


First, there are various combinations for gangbangs, with a single female, or a single male being on the receiving end and the rest giving. For the sake of simplicity, let’s use a female for receiving. Now, there are the numbers. In my opinion, a gangbang consists of a center person and at least 4 or more givers.

Of course, the ideal number of men would be 6 or more, which is 2 busy, all holes stuffed and at least 1 person waiting in line.

Closing Thought

Second, is the gender ratio. While orgies tend to have nearly equal gender balance, a gangbang is a single gender as the receiver and opposite gender as the giver. I suppose for a larger group, there could be multiple receivers, but the ratio should always be at least 4 givers to 1 receiver, preferably more. If you can form a long line of waiters (10, 20, etc.) that’s an epic gangbang!

56 Things You Didn’t Know About Sex, Love, and Relationships

Whether you’re attached, flying solo, or somewhere in between, there’s bound to be something on your heart’s mind. From how sex can improve your health to the ultimate guide to contraception and the science of a broken heart (ugh, sorry…), check out these resources for everything you want and need to know about love, sex, and romance.

Relationships and Love

1. How I Stay Single and Sane While All My Friends Are In Relationships

There have been laughable dates, periodic tears, and lots of people who feel sorry for her. Here’s how one Greatist writer learned to cope with being single when (almost) everyone else her age had already paired off.

2. How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Every Relationship

Guest Writer Jennifer Kass outlines how to know if you’re not setting healthy boundaries in a relationship, plus three crucial steps for becoming your own best advocate.

3. How to Find Love in 4 Minutes: The Science of Speed Dating

What else can ruin a first date besides bad breath? It turns out, a lot. Researchers analyzed speed-dating interviews and found several factors that predict a lack of connection.


Does God have a plan for same-sex relationships?

A few years ago the Ramsey Colloquium—a group of Christian and Jewish scholars—published a sharp critique of “the gay and lesbian cause” which they titled “The Homosexual Movement.” 1 As they predicted, their declaration was denounced as “a display of homophobia.” “Such dismissals have become unpersuasive and have ceased to intimidate,” they wrote. “Indeed, we do not think it a bad thing that people should experience a reflexive recoil from what is wrong.” This “reflexive recoil” from homosexual behavior is not homophobia, they said, but the instinctive reflex of those who know that homosexuality violates God’s natural law.

Among the authors were several academics at liberal strongholds like Amherst, Princeton, Oberlin, Yale and Hebrew Union College. It hardly needs to be said that entering the debate in this way exposed the Ramsey Colloquium to angry denunciation and was, for some of its members, an act of courage.

My purpose is not to criticize the declaration’s reasoning but to draw your attention to one paragraph as the starting point for our conversation:

We believe that any understanding of sexuality, including heterosexuality, that makes it chiefly an arena for the satisfaction of personal desire is harmful to individuals and society. Any way of life that accepts or encourages sexual relations for pleasure or personal satisfaction alone turns away from the disciplined community that marriage is intended to engender and foster. [Italics added.]

This is a profoundly counter-cultural vision of human sexuality and one that can be helpful as we struggle with the moral question that is before us: should the church affirm faithful relationships between same-sex partners?

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What to Do If Your Partner Asks to Have an Open Relationship

If you’re in a relationship, you might be thinking things are going great between you and your partner. You’re an unstoppable duo – it’s you two against anything life throws at you. So, what happens when you’re partner tells you that they’re looking to explore outside the two of you, but still want to be apart of your relationship?

In the past, someone saying “I want to see someone else” usually meant the end of the relationship. Now, with more people questioning whether monogamy is the best way of life, open relationships have become a viable and welcome option for folks. If your partner approaches you about wanting an open relationship, they may not be trying to disrespect you. They may genuinely love you and care about you, but monogamy just isn’t for them.

If your SO approaches you about an open relationship, it may feel like a punch in the gut at first. Your natural reaction might be along the lines “hell NO!” But if you truly love and respect your significant other, you owe it to them to hear them out about why they believe an open relationship could be your next great journey. If you think you’re alone in this, read on to learn how to approach this next step in your relationship, and hear from actual college women who navigated the ups-and-downs of their open relationships.

Approach your partner with questions.

If an open relationship is going to work, you need to understand why they want to explore this new option, so you can’t shut them down immediately. Seattle University junior Anna emphasizes this. “Don’t let [an] attitude pervade your response, lest you make your partner feel shame about wanting to explore something new. Open relationships aren’t scandalous or dirty, they just can be complicated and messy if not done with proper respect and communication.”

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Celebs you didn’t know were in same-sex relationships

Love is complicated enough without the added intricacy of sexual identity. Sexuality is fluid, and really, you love who you love. These stars, whether publicly or privately, have all at least dabbled in a same-sex relationship at some point, even though some of these celebs are nothing short of heartthrobs to the opposite sex.

Some stars think their same-sex flings were a phase. Some simply want to experiment. Others identify as bisexual, pansexual, queer, or whatever else they feel is appropriate for them. For many celebrities, love is simply about connecting with a person, not necessarily one sex or another, and so they decline to slap any kind of label on their feelings. From pop star Pink to actress Cameron Diaz, the stars on this list have discussed, alluded to, or been identified by others as one half of a same-sex relationship. Whether they’re hookups or lasting love connections, get ready to celebrate fluidity. You can’t put love in a box!

Demi Lovato has never officially come out as explicitly bisexual, though she did hint at hooking up with a lady in “Cool for the Summer.” Regardless, Orange Is the New Black star Ruby Rose claims she hooked up with the “Confident” singer. In a since-deleted Instagram post, Rose wrote, “I’m like the one person Demi has slept with that didn’t sell naked photos of her, so eff off.” Lovato neither confirmed nor denied Rose’s claims, per Metro.

When asked about the alleged hookup in 2015, Lovato told Complex, “I don’t feel like any of my past or future — when it comes to relationships that may have happened or not have happened — are of any concern to anybody … You can believe what you want, but no, I was not in a relationship with her.” She added, “By the way, love is fluid … Humans are humans, and when you connect with somebody on a spiritual level it doesn’t matter.”

Where there’s smoke (and smokin’ hot ladies), there could certainly be fire. Or at least sparks. Just sayin’.

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