Let’s talk about sex. Specifically, let’s talk about what people get wrong when it comes to sex. Despite progress in understanding sexuality and dismantling sexual taboos, there is still a ton of misinformation out there about pleasure, desire, conception, birth control, and more. In my work as a sex educator and writer, I’ve come across a host of false beliefs that have simultaneously made me want to hurl and correct them. I choose the latter. Ahead, nine of the most egregious myths I’ve encountered.
1. You can’t get pregnant if you’re on top during vaginal sex.
Not only is this a joke in Knocked Up (“…if a woman’s on top she can’t get pregnant. It’s just gravity”), I’ve heard this belief earnestly expressed more than once. Cue the biggest eye roll ever. You absolutely can get pregnant in the cowgirl position — and any other position in which a penis is in a vagina, for that matter. Sperm swim, whether you’re straddling your partner, standing up, or doing somersaults. They can also live inside the body for up to about five days. Please get yourself a real form of birth control.
2. The pull-out method can be used as a stand-alone method of birth control.
The pull-out (or withdrawal) method, also called coitus interruptus, is when the partner with the penis pulls out of the vagina before ejaculation. Planned Parenthood reports that about 27 out of 100 women who use this method get pregnant each year, meaning it’s about 73 percent effective at preventing pregnancy in real life. That’s not as effective as condoms, which are about 82-percent effective IRL, or birth control pills, which are about 91-percent effective. Use the pull-out method in combination with another birth control method, folks. Human error happens.
3. Anal doesn’t count as sex.
I once had a friend in high school tell me that she only had anal with her boyfriend because she was saving herself for marriage. Um, what?
Read more www.allure.com
I had to say it, but sex causes many people to lack common sense. I mean, you get the right combination of hair, eyes, and everything else and a person can be sensible 99% of the time. When it comes to sex, that 1% can be hard to fight. Heck, even for me.
I learned this recently when I ran into a guy that I had a crush on throughout growing up. We used to be best friends, then life struck, and we parted ways (under good terms). We recently reunited, and he had just broken up. We decided to meet up and I didn’t think nothing of it at first. But, once he started talking I lost all common sense. He was talking about things like how his wife wanted him to do certain things during sex, but he wasn’t comfortable with it, etc.
For some reason, this told my brain to start picturing him doing those things to me instead. Out of nowhere, my mouth blurts out “Well, why don’t you try them on me first we’ve known each other like a lifetime anyway…” That opened a whole new door, but he didn’t turn it down either. It’s been several days, thought I would give him some time to think it over.
Listen, we all have different sexual preferences. Whether we prefer to be more in control, let our partner take the reigns, or simply want to do whatever will help make a baby, there’s a sex position that suits your needs and comfort level. To figure out what works best when, we tapped into the brains of top female sexual health experts. Here’s what they say are the best sex positions for common bedroom scenarios.
When you want to make a baby: missionary.
Obviously you can get pregnant just by having sex. But if you’re trying to really increase your odds of putting a bun in the oven, health experts will tell you again and again to go with missionary. But not just plain ole’ missionary. In this situation, you should mix in a pelvic tilt, says Amy Levine, founder of SexEdSolutions.com. “Putting a pillow under the tush can help elevate your pelvis and create a slide effect, providing an easy path for his swimmers to make their way through your cervix [and to] your ovum,” she says. “Typically, women who try this tend to maximize the ejaculation, since it stays in the body a little longer compared to positions in which you’re upright [that allow] the semen to drip out of the vagina.”
Another helpful tip: Make sure he works to get you off, says Ava Cadell, a sex educator and founder of Loveology University in Los Angeles. Not only will it feel amazing, but a woman is more likely to get pregnant if she climaxes, she says.
When you want to feel confident: girl on top.
Read full article on www.womansday.com
SEXUALITY ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM
Autistic adults have, in general, differences in sexuality from the norm. Many more are asexual than in the average population. It is believed that there is a slightly higher pecentage of gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgendered autistics than in the average population.
Bisexual or homosexual Aspies may find more potential for sex and/or relationships in the gay community where there is less emphasis on conformity. Girls and women who are autistic can have more chance at success in relationships, generally speaking, than men. This is due to differences in social requirements, where a man is often expected to ask a girl for a date, rather than vice versa.
Living in a society where long-time relationships and starting a family are the norm it can be very hard for socially inexperienced men with Asperger’s to find a partner and some stay away from dating for that reason.
Some of those on the autism spectrum are celibate by choice, feeling that they are asexual, or that there are more important things in life. Others have resigned themselves to celibacy due to the fact that romantic or sexual relationships can be much harder to find due to a misunderstanding of social skills and the difficulty of finding a suitable partner.
Aspie/aspie couples are often more succesful than aspie/neurotypical couples; yet this is not done often as aspie gender ratios has a lot more diagnosed males than females. It is thought that there is often underdiagnosis of females. Sexual feelings may develop later than usual, and relationships can start in the 20s and 30s, rather than in teenage years, as for neurotypicals. (source: Aspies for freedom wiki)
There are plenty of high quality sex/relationship guides around, so this section is deliberately brief. The key to learning from these guides is knowing that they are nearly always written from the perspective of someone who has had personal success or who has had success in teaching non-autistic people and who are trying to teach specific things from particular perspectives.
Read full article on www.autism-help.org
Erections are a natural biological response to sexual stimuli, but sometimes dicks don’t always cooperate with how you’re feeling. You can be aroused, but your lingam doesn’t seem to be following the script. If you’re having issues with maintaining hard erections, chances are you’re experiencing ED, better known as erectile dysfunction. The most important thing to know about ED is that it is a symptom, not a condition in itself. Once you get to the root cause of the restricted blood flow to your penis, your issues with limp erections can often be rectified. If you’ve been experiencing weak erections and want to know why, take a look at these four common reasons and see how you match up.
1 YOU GET TOO NERVOUS
Anxiety is your erection’s worst enemy. When the mind is in an anxious state, the body turns on its fight or flight response, which causes blood to flow away from the pelvic region and into the body’s vital organs (think heart and lungs) for preservation in case of an attack. Unfortunately, the body doesn’t differentiate between a physical threat and mental anxiety—stress is stress. The best solution is to relax. Remind yourself that you’re not there to “perform”. Focus on enjoying the moment and engaging in a mutually pleasurable exchange. Discussing sex before it happens also helps. Talk to your partner about what she/he likes and share your desires to eliminate the guessing game.
2 YOUR HEALTH ISN’T ON POINT
Health conditions that restrict blood flow, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes and kidney issues, can cause ED. Medications for these conditions may also restrict blood flow. Stay on top of your health. Get annual check-ups with a medical professional. And, if you’re on meds talk to your doctor about any side effects you’re experiencing. Be candid.
Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness and connectedness with another person. Intimate relationships are often characterized by attitudes of mutual trust, caring, and acceptance.
A part of our sexuality might include intimacy: the ability to love, trust and care for others in both sexual and other types of relationships. We learn about intimacy from those relationships around us, particularly within our families.
Our sexual activities can take place with others where there can be varying degrees of intimacy. We may be sexual with an intimate partner, a casual partner, an anonymous partner, a friend, etc..
Often intimacy with others, involves taking emotional risks where people might share personal details and stories. Emotional intimacy doesn’t automatically occur with sexual intimacy, as people who are sexually involved may not choose to share their innermost thoughts and feelings or the sexual relationship might be one where there is not a high degree of emotional intimacy.
Four key factors
There are four key factors to building an emotionally intimate relationship:
1. Knowing and liking yourself
- Some social scientists suggest that the initial step toward intimacy with others is getting to know and like yourself. By coming to know and value yourself, you identify your innermost feelings and needs and develop the security to share them with others.
2. Trusting and caring
- Two of the most important components of an intimate relationship are trust and caring. When trust exists, partners feel secure that disclosing intimate feelings will not lead to ridicule, rejection, or other harm. Research shows that trust builds gradually as people come to see the other person has made a sincere investment in the relationship.
- Caring is an emotional bond that allows intimacy to develop. When people care about each other, they seek to fulfill each other’s needs and interests.
A same-sex relationship is a potential form of relationship in The Sims series. Players have been able to create same-sex relationships since the original game, but the way the game has treated these relationships has changed over time. Currently, there are two pre-made same-sex couples in The Sims series. However, several other Sims are implied to be gay or lesbian in their biographies. If they are allowed to act with free will, or if story progression is enabled, they may pursue a same-sex relationship autonomously.
In The Sims series, every Sim is technically bisexual, as he/she can be directed to have a crush on, fall in love with, engage in romantic interactions and WooHoo with a Sim of either gender, provided they are of the appropriate age group(s).
In The Sims 2, while editing a Sim in SimPE, a preference scale for males and females, can be found.[n 1] This was carried forward into The Sims 3, but is not as accessible. When first played, most Sims either have a completely neutral preference or a slight preference for (or rarely against) one gender. A Sim’s preference scores gradually change as he/she interacts romantically with other Sims during gameplay. Therefore, a Sim’s gender preference is fluid rather than fixed.
The Sims 2: Nightlife introduced a system for chemistry between two Sims, which is present in all later expansion and stuff packs for The Sims 2. While gender plays no intrinsic role in the chemistry between two Sims, it is possible to mildly influence a Sim’s gender preference by choosing facial hair (only available to males) or make-up (available to both sexes, but very rarely worn by male pre-mades) as a turn-on or turn-off.
Read more sims.fandom.com
When your partner has no interest in sex despite your best efforts, it’s easy to become perplexed. And without guidance, partners may characterize the problem in ways that can destroy the relationship.
Sex: What Problem?
Kelly seemed to have it all. A loving mother of three and a public-relations executive in Manhattan, she had a handsome and charming partner who was a successful entrepreneur. They jetted off for vacations in the Caribbean and dined in the finest restaurants. But their relationship floundered in one intractable area.
“After a while,” Kelly says, “he just stopped wanting to have sex. He’d go months without even touching me.”
It’s a subject that’s full of shame: low sex drive. When your partner has no interest in sex despite your best efforts, it’s easy to become perplexed. And without guidance, partners may characterize the problem in ways that can destroy the relationship.
In a society saturated with sexual imagery, it seems strange that some people have no desire for sex. But it is a startlingly common problem. Millions of people suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), about 25 percent of all Americans, by one estimate, or a third of women and a fifth of men. Sex researchers and therapists now recognize it as the most common sexual problem.