When is it best to make love for the first time after having a baby? Here’s agony aunt Suzie Hayman’s advice
It’s unusual to find yourselves champing at the bit as soon as you get home after the birth and quite possible and normal that exhaustion, physical post-birth recovery and even doubts about feeling attractive might put you off for weeks or a few months to come. There’s no required waiting period for when you can have sex after having a baby, but here we ask expert Suzie Hayman for her tips about having sex after the birth of a child.Some new parents find the shared experience of bringing a new life into the world arousing and they can’t wait to get back to celebrating their bond. Others feel almost traumatised by it – or fear their partners may have been put off. Anxieties about whether it will hurt or harm the new mum can lead to you holding back, and all the unfamiliar work and new routines of parenthood can mean the gap gets longer and longer. So how long should you wait, and why?
Six days or six months
Some new parents wait until the six-week check-up with their GP while others seem to believe up to 6 months is best. But the reality is that you can go back to having full sex when you feel like it and when it feels comfortable. If you’ve had stitches it can depend on whether it was for a serious tear or a small cut. That can be from a couple of weeks to a few months – your own body will be the guide. You’ll want to take it slowly and carefully, especially as breastfeeding can sometimes cause vaginal dryness. The good news is that if you’ve never used lube before this is when you find out how much fun it can be. And while fast and furious sex is exciting there is a different vibe and just as much fun in taking your time.
Stroke can change how your body feels, works and how you feel about yourself. It can also affect your relationship with your partner.
Studies have not shown that sexual activity can trigger a stroke.
You may need to adapt to any physical changes, address any emotional changes, and talk to your partner or health professional.
How stroke can affect sex
Stroke can change how your body feels, works and how you feel about yourself. It can also change your relationships. Sex after a stroke may be affected by:
Fear of another stroke. Studies have not shown that sexual activity can trigger a stroke. If you are concerned, talk to your doctor.
Physical changes. Sexual activities can be impacted by physical changes including muscle weakness, stiffness, tightness, pain, altered sensation, mobility, fatigue and incontinence.
Emotion and mood changes. A stroke may change how you feel about yourself and your sexuality. It’s common to feel a range of difficult emotions after a stroke: anger, irritability and sadness. Depression and anxiety are also common after stroke. Emotional changes can impact your interest in sex.
Can we have sex when sharing a room with our baby?
Why it’s OK for you and your partner to have sex when sharing a room with your baby
As much as you might like to keep your parenting life away from your sex life their paths will cross and especially in the early days, weeks and months when you’re sharing a room with your baby.The good news is there’s no need to keep quiet and here’s why.
One of the advertiser’s clichés about having a baby in the house is to show parents tip-toing around, terrified stepping on a squeaky toy or raising your voice would set off a howl and wake the baby you’ve taken ages to get to sleep. One of the first causalities of such fears is your sex life. So many parents feel they can no longer relax into making love in case they don’t hear that their baby needs them, or that any grunts and moans may disturb them. And above all they may fear that the sounds of sexual pleasure could in some way worry or frighten a child. Are these anxieties realistic and should you keep quiet in a home with a baby?
The quick answer is no, no way should you stop enjoying your love life now a little one has arrived. In fact, since your child needs you to be happy and committed to each other the best way for that to happen is for you to have an enjoyable and frequent – and possibly satisfactorily noisy – sex life.
So how should you manage noise in your home with a baby around?
Are you a light or heavy sleeper? Has it ever occurred to you to wonder what might have made you one or the other? Sensitivity to noise can partly be a matter of hardwiring. Some babies are more sensitive to it than others and while they may become easier as time goes by, some remain prone to find noise bothers them more than others.
My fiancé and I have had a whirlwind romance. I know he is the one, and we have a wedding date planned. I am preggers and would love to walk down the aisle before I get too big. Given that we are getting married so quickly, what questions should we be asking each other to prepare for a healthy peaceful marriage? — Speed Bride
DEAR SPEED BRIDE,
First of all, congrats on finding your soulmate and your pregnancy! While I usually recommend that couples get premarital counseling with a licensed therapist before getting married, it sounds like you are on the speed train to the altar and may not have time for that. That considered, there are a few questions you should ponder together. You will want to hit on the biggest issues couples struggle with: money, parenting, chores, connection, boundaries and sex.
Of course, when you do have time to sit down with a therapist and do a little pre-marital counseling, this can be a roadmap for those conversations. For some couples, these guided talks help strengthen the relationship — no matter how quickly you jumped in.
Here are the questions you should be asking each other.
1) How do you see us organizing our finances?
Couples should discuss how they will organize their money. Joint accounts, or separate? Who pays for what? How will you handle big purchase decisions? Under what circumstances do you each have veto power? You should also discuss whether or not will there be a prenup, as more millennial couples are signing them, even if they’re not wealthy.
In 2017, I was working at a small communications company in New York City when I became involved with a coworker. I’d never dated anyone at work before and agonized over whether to ask him out—since there were only about six of us on staff, I knew it could get messy. But the attraction and feelings were so strong that it felt like something I couldn’t let go of. It was more than a mild crush; it was the strongest and most deeply I had ever felt about someone.
“Jeff” was smart and funny. We had an undeniable chemistry and attraction that I hadn’t experienced with anyone before. We worked in an intense environment with some crazy people and having him to commiserate with helped both of us endure the long hours. We joked about our coworkers and their ridiculous habits and—like something out of The Office—would pull light pranks on our colleagues.
I knew he was a little insecure about the differences in our titles.
When we first started dating, we had the same title, so the melding of our personal and professional lives wasn’t an issue. After we’d been dating for about a month, though, things changed: I got promoted, another colleague left, and the company restructured a bit internally.
When our teams were reorganized, I became the team lead, and he had a supporting role. A trusted colleague knew about our relationship. During the internal reorg, she said to me, “You’re his boss now.” I panicked. This was what I had worked so hard to avoid. I knew he was a little insecure about the differences in our titles, and I knew these changes would make everything infinitely worse.
Podcasts about sex, relationships, and intimacy told by hosts and guests from all backgrounds. Looking for podcasts that represent some of the most interesting, nuanced, and open-minded conversations about sex and relationships? These podcasts discuss LGBTQ relationships, sex positions, polyamory, breakups and more.
The best sex and relationship podcasts are rarely afraid to tackle the big topics. These shows have hosts who are sex experts, in dynamic relationship situations, or who just love talking about the nuances of human sexuality. Some of the best relationship podcasts like “Where Should We Begin” are fascinating examinations of what makes a healthy partnership.
Many of these sex and relationship podcast hosts identify as queer and polyamorous and some of them are professionals who have dedicated their lives to talking to couples and individuals about how to cultivate a healthy sex life.
If you’re looking for podcasts about sex as well some of the best relationship podcasts, look no further. Here are a few you should check out right now.
1) Food 4 Thot
Food 4 Thot is a conversation between friends on relationships, sex, identity and “everything at the intersection of queerness and brownness”. You probably will not be able to listen to this with kids close by, but you will definitely laugh along with Dennis, Fran, Joseph, and Tommy, who are always funny and endlessly insightful.
First dates are both incredibly exciting and nerve-wracking. You will probably find yourself worrying about everything from what to wear, to how to style your hair, and where to go for your meetup. Feeling nervous is normal and essential in order to find a new partner. You get the opportunity to meet someone that could become really important in your life, see if you are compatible, and hopefully, have some fun along the way!
Whether you just got out of a relationship or you’ve been single and are looking to meet someone, you shouldn’t be wasting any time with the wrong people. If you’ve been in relationships and have a better idea of what you want and what you don’t want, then some of these red flags won’t come as a surprise to you. If you’ve been single most of your life or you just haven’t met the right one yet, then this guide may help you in determining whether someone is right or wrong for you.
It’s important to note that first impressions can leave a long-lasting impact, so don’t let your date’s charm and good looks fool you. When you go on a first date, you should be looking out for certain red flags in your date’s behavior because these can determine the course of your relationship. If you find that your date exhibits any of the following, you might want to reconsider if this is the right moment to move forward.
1.They keep talking about their ex.
One of the biggest red flags that can happen on a first date is if your date brings up their ex – a lot. Don’t get me wrong, it’s healthy to talk about past relationships in order to determine what both you and your date are and are not looking for. Talking about how many relationships you’ve been in, how long they’ve lasted, and why they’ve ended are all completely normal. However, there’s a fine line between a healthy conversation about past partners and an unhealthy conversation.
It has been a well guarded secret that I am fascinated with the idea of group sex, especially a threesome. However, I would prefer the threesome to consist of two males and one female and this is because I feel that it would be more for the male’s benefit for a threesome to have two females and one male. Besides, it is my fantasy and in my fantasy I long to be groping a cock in my mouth while I am being double penetrated.
For me, I think it all has to do with the slut. The female who is getting double penetrated while sucking someone else’s cock is of course. I long to be in the role of a slut being double penetrated. I get so turned on by thinking about my ass being fucked by a man while I am pegging a woman. Then, switching the role up and getting pegged by the other woman while watching in a mirror as she is rammed hard in the ass by our male participant.
I can only imagine how long we could go for before one of us couldn’t take it no more and has to hop on and take control of him. Then again, maybe we would both take control of him together! One of us riding him, the other on his face. Oh my!
This has been a fantasy of mine for some time now, but I have never really had the nerve to try and make it happen. The thought alone is enough to get me all excited. One day, maybe it will happen, but will the other woman be a friend of mine? Will I find a random girl to sleep with me and a boyfriend perhaps? Who knows, but I hope one day it happens.
During the time period of the Original Magic Wand it was considered too be the most powerful vibrators of all time, I never imagined there could ever be anything better than the Original Magic Wand, but boy was I wrong! I had to correct myself after the introduction of the updated version, which has the feature of being rechargeable. Furthermore, it comes with its own plug adapter that can be removed during use. This is great; just think no more getting confused with the wiring during playtime.
The Magic Wand is a sex toy that was intended to be used as a personal massager to vibrate the clitoris in order to aide in having orgasms. This version is different in that its head has been made from silicone, making it safe for the body. It is also different in that it is rechargeable, and the cord can be removed during the time of use. They included silicone buttons for controlling the speed and patterns, and in general, the power. This toy was not designed to be inserted inside of the cavities of the body.
This new version of the Magic Wand is humongous in size. The rod (shaft) section is 12 inches in length and there is an additional 2 inches from the head. It is 2.5 inches across. There is a total of 7.5 inches going all way around (this is around the size of a tennis ball). One of the heaviest vibrators I have ever seen weighing in at almost 2 pounds.
The Magic Wand is made of plastic and silicone.
It has a head that is now made of silicone, which makes it safe for the use on the body, it now has a rechargeable feature, designed with multiple patterns, and additional speeds. This version is of high quality, with quality vibrations, and has multiple functions.
Because of the way the newer version has been designed it is not splash proof or waterproof. However, it can be cleaned using a toy cleaner of your choice and a rag.
I have found the rechargeable Magic Wand to be everything I need in order to have multiple orgasms, it gives me really awesome orgasms, I might add! I must have my labia, vagina, urethra, and clitoral shaft stimulated in order to have an orgasm and my Magic Wand helps all of these to happen due to the deep vibrations it gives on all four of its speeds. Unlike other vibrators that only let me feel minimum vibe on the area I put it, my wand goes further than just one areas it makes the entire pelvic, vagina, and clitoris areas feel the stimulation all at the same time. Of course, I also get into thrusting a variety of dildos into me and when I am ready for an orgasm all I have to do is touch the Magic Wand to my clit.
I never was one to care for my butt to be played with, nor would I tolerate it. It just didn’t do anything for me sexually or in any other manner. Of course that was before I met him, my new friend Pistol. I am about to tell all about my anal stretching experience and leave you with several handy tips on the way to go about making your own anal stretching easy, fun, and exciting. This will benefit in getting the proper kinds of lube and the size of toys to begin with. Believe me; it will all go a lot smoother when you know this stuff.
Here are some suggestions on anal stretching
You have finally come to the conclusion to stretch your ass but want it to happen in a safe and hopefully comfortable manner. I learned everything the hard way and want to help others by saving them from having to go through what I did. Alright then, the following are some of the best toys around for anal stretching:
Plugs for anal newbie’s: The ‘Doc Johnson Mood Naughty’ is the right plug!
Plugs that those with some experience can wear for the long haul: The best would be the squishy one made from silicone and are super soft; they are the SquarePeg Toys ‘Egg Plugs with six different sizes.
Butt plugs for anal sex training:
The SquarePeg Toys ‘Blunt Plugs’.
Small dildos to use in anal training: Light texture, tapered, and smooth, this is the ‘Blush Avant P3’.
Which dildos to use to practice anal sex: The three best are the ‘Vixen Creations VixSkin’, dual-density silicone’, and ‘Blush Real Nude Ergo Mini’.
Which dildos are best for prostrate orgasms: The best is the Njoy Pure Wand.