Tuesday, November 26, 2009 (Thanksgiving) aka The Day Before Black Friday… One sex toy reviewer has a plan:
“I will not let me self get sucked into bargain hunting on Black Friday, I will not reduce my already pitiful bank account balance any further. I will save my money this holiday season.”
Monday, November 30 2009…approximately 96 hours later…
The plan has failed!
I have in a span of 4 days spent a little less then $200 on sex toys; ok not the biggest splurge in the history of shopping but the plan was zero. Rather than lamenting my lack of will power, I will instead praise my awesome bargain hunter skills, by describing the awesome haul I managed to grab. I now have four new toy on their way to me:
The first toy is a Fleshlight Ice, with the vortex internal texture and the Mini Maid orifice. If you go to fleshlight.com, you will notice you won’t be able to find the Mini Maid orifice. This is because they have retired this particular deigned(1) and I purchased it during their blow out sale. Getting one before it gone seemed to me like a sufficient extenuating circumstance. In addition, this will give me the chance to not only experience, a new Fleshlight orifice but also a new internal texture (vortex) and the cool transparent ice color(2). Typical a Fleshlight would set you back $64.95 the blow out price was $15 off at $49.95 add in shipping costs of $8.44 and the total came to $58.39. That was Friday surely my wallet would remain closed over the weekend…
Nope, over the weekend two more closeout priced toys joined my collection, both from my favorite toy manufacturer Tantus Inc. The first a Delta vibrator, an odd choice as I’m a guy, currently single and this is clearly a girl’s toy(3). However, this was a close out model in Tantus’s own words: “We goofed and made 47 of these in the wrong color pink. On sale for $12 until they’re all gone. Grab yours today while they last!.” This was another chance to have something a little unique in my collection, I checked before posting by the way and all 47 are sold. Secondly, I liked the idea of having something in my collection waiting for just for a future playmate use and at the closeout price of 12.00 bucks (compared to their MSRP of $59.99) now seemed like a good time to add such a toy to my collection. As if that was not enough of a motivation, I accidently started to navigate away from Tantus Inc.’s page. The site then automatically offered me 10% off. The 12.00 deal now became a $10.80 deal. Ok I was definitely buying the vibrator. However, I found it somewhat weird for me to pay shipping on something so cheap, as the shipping cost would be near the cost of the toy itself and it is a little weird to purchase a toy without anyone to use it when it arrives. So I decided to add a second toy and since the delta was a “for her toy” I decided to buy a “for him toy” the only such toy in the closeout section was the P-Spot Vibrating Plug so that become toy #3 of the holiday shopping spree. It is only available as a closeout, but the 10% offer still applied so the 18.00 close out price became 16.20. Add in 6.99 shipping and my total for the transaction was $33.90. Bring the total spent on holiday sex toys to $92.29. Ok 2 where unique finds with one bargain impulse purchase throw in, understandable it is the traditional orgiastic spending period but it’s over now, there is no way you’re going to submit to that Cyber Monday thing right?…WRONG!
Monday morning as I was looking through my tweets I saw a tweet from JimmyJane talking about a 36 hours sales on a little some things. Reading it quickly I thought we just dealing with 30 bucks off their little chroma vibrator, but I clicked and found they were offering $99 on their little gold vibrator. Scrolling down I saw the where also offering $99 special on their little platinum; the $395 little platinum, not only is that 75% off it normal price, that is less than the little chroma. Again, this isn’t exactly a guys toy but at this price how could I resist. Shipping was free so that brought the total to: $191.29.
bargainhunterOnly $191.29 more then I had planned to spend but going back to the focusing on the bargain hunter thing; lets calculate how good a haul I had this weekend:
These 4 toys would cost at their MSRP (not taking in shipping cost) $537.90(4)
To compare minus the shipping and my haul: came out to: $175.35
That comes to a saving of 362.55 (that 67% less then I would have spent at MSRP).
Criticize my inability to stick to my original plan if you must; but you have to admit this is a pretty good haul. 😉
So, any to fellow sex toy lovers who may read this. Got in good sex toy bargain stories to share?
the closest you can get now is the Fleshjack Jackass orifice. Instead of looking like a women from behind it looks like a guy from behind. [↩]
the two flesh light sleeves I own already are a pink lady with the wonder wave texture and a cream (retried color) butt orifice with the ultra tight texture. [↩]
Just a note: this is not to say I believe dual stimulation toys can’t be used on a guy. I’ve seen several sources recommend trying a rabbit on a guy, the rotating beads stimulate the anus and the clit vibrator becomes a perineum stimulator. I have a rabbit on my list of toys to eventually get in order to try out this very thing. This toy although hard to resist at the price is a poor choice to test this out just, I can’t see the little bullet vibe that powers it having enough *umph*. I’ll test out on myself but at best I predict it could only provide proof of concept. [↩]
$64.95 (Flesh light MSRP) + $59.99 (Delta MSRP) +$18.00 (Plug w/o 10% discount) + $395 (little platinum MSRP) = $537.90 [↩]